I am determined NOT to lose my knickers.

Hello Lovelies!

So, I have travelled to Nicaragua ( henceforth known as Knickeragua) where I will spend the next few weeks/months before travelling around Central America. So far, so beautiful. I'm staying in a gorgeous spot on the southwest coast called Popoyo. Known for it's wonderful weather and fantastic surfing it's still off the beaten track enough to not have to deal with heaps of tourists/McDonalds etc.

And so, given that I'm here I thought I'd give this surfing lark a go. Now, I have actually surfed before. But that was in Cornwall and you have to wear a wetsuit so your swimsuit can go nowhere. Here, however, I am fast discovering which suits can survive a wipe out and which really really can't. So far, so naked. The trick, my roommate tells me, is to "tie the shit out of 'em". Which is exactly what you have to do. But then I get a muffin top! Wah. Those days when you just can't win. So, I tie them up, and then loosen them when I emerge from the water, Bond girl like, I'm sure.

If any surfer girls out there have any tips on how to retain your dignity out on the water, I'd really appreciate it. The hostel I'm working in looks directly over the breaks I've been surfing. And they're fully equipped with binoculars.

Ninja, xx

Intimiss-ing something?

As I mentioned a few weeks ago I went to Italy for a week for my friends wedding. It was an absolutely wonderful week, like actually. I have been to two fantastic weddings this summer and I swear I'm never going to be able to get married: my wedding could hope to ever match theirs!

Anyway, as any lingerie junkie knows it is almost impossible to walk past a lingerie store without being pulled in like a magnet to a fridge door. So, the windows of lace and lust of Intimissimi called to me. And in I went. A particularly gorgeous white lace long line bra caught my eye. Reasonably priced at £28 I hunted for my size. Only numbers stared back at me from the labels. What on earth? Size 1? What is that? After much probing and a few terrible Italian vs. terrible English question and answers with a staff member I worked out that their sizing goes from 1 to 4. A size 1 'equates' to a 32A/B, a 2 a 34 A/B and so. So understandably when I asked for a 30F she looked at me like I'd asked her to take all her clothes off and do the Macarena.

She laughed, sort of, and said that some of their styles went, incredulously, up to a D cup. Wow. So that wiped out have the store. No new pretty Italian lingerie for me. But wait! Round the corner I found thier gorgeous collection of sleepwear. A consolation prize, sure, but a terribly pretty one nonetheless. So I went in for the pretty white lace long line bra, and I came out without it. But I did buy a grey marl jumper with PEARLS on and a cute pair of PJ shorts with lace peeking out the bottom. Cute.

Intimissimi isn't the only Italian brand with screwed up sizing. La Perla, the gold standard, is similarly bonkers. Although is has improved, the cups are almost always too sharp in the wire (too sharp a curve), and the elastic round the back tends to gives very quickly. But they're beautiful, and despite their faults the still make the ultimate boudoir bras.

Ninja, xx

Ariba aRIBA! Go Maggie's Go!

So, a few months or so ago now, I visited the Maggie Centre at Gartnavel to discuss post mastectomy bras and other underwear concerns breast cancer patients have. The meeting actually occured because a member of their press team found my first blogpost: the power of blogging! Anyway, I read yesterday that the centre had won a RIBA award. I can completely understand. Now, in terms of architectural knowledge, I am limited at best. But the Maggie Centre at Gartnavel is the most appropriate building I have ever been in.

'Appropriate', makes it sound boring and lack-lustre, which it most definitely isn't. So I'm going to explain. The Maggie Centre is a place where patients can go after or before treatment, or just because they need to get out of their own house. There are classes, on everything from scarf tying to cooking, talks and evening activities. There is no reception, or front desk; you enter and find yourself in the kitchen, like you would in a home, The kitchen has a huge table which could easily (and I'm sure on many occasions does) sit 12 and every tea you could dream of.

The building is set out as one big space that can be divided into smaller rooms where necessary. So if you want to go in and talk to a group of people about your treatment, you can. If you want to have a one-to-one with one of the centre staff, you can. The middle houses a sunny courtyard and the whole building just basks in natural light. It's a place to feel calm, to feel hope. I felt so comfortable here, so welcomed.

So yes, the building is perfectly appropriate, but it is so much more than that, too.

It deserves this award, more than I could ever convey.

Ninja, xx

In there like SWIMWEAR!

Just a quick one today lads, I'm sorry I've been so absent! In the interim I have left my job, been on holiday to Italy for a friends wedding (amazeballs), and booked flights for myself to Nicaragua. I'll be heading there for a year to work in a surf resort/bar and learn Spanish. Hopefully stumble across a very strapping surfers along the way, too. Stopping off in NYC on the way to stock up on some Victoria's Secret goodies. Have heard great things about Columbian underwear; so will have to source some of that while I'm out there!

So, in 80% of the northern hemisphere it is SUMMER. Sadly, not in the UK. But if you are going on your holibags then you must surely update your 'kini wardrobe. Yes? Yes. Swimwear  be tricky. Particularly if they are sold as 'sets' because it is very rare that we are the same on top as on bottom. A minefield! But hey, it's okay to be a good three or four sizes different one way or the other. It's also okay if you don't look like you belong on the GB beah volleyball team.

Now, a lot of great bra brands also do fabulous swimwear. But they can be pricey. Miss Mandalay bikinis are gorgeous, underwired and have good coverage. Note: if you are above a DD don't even think about those triangle bikinis. They offer about as much coverage as a babybell and truthfully, look a bit naff. Freya is a perrenial favourite for up-size swimwear. Cute colours and patterns. Most of their styles also come in a tankini style for those who are tummy conscious. These brands are charging around £50-60 for a set. But there is another option.

So, as I said swimwear sold as 'sets' are unsuitable for anyone past puberty. Most women would opt to buy a bigger size for the bottom than for the top. But when you look at the actual coverage of top you may find a bigger size more comfortable. For example, I wear a size ten on top and twelve on bottom but in a lot of bikinis I have wound up buying a size 14 top. If the back is tied then it makes it even easier to alter the size!

I have a few favourites in my own 'kini colletion. Bizarrely, my ultimate fave was bought in Asda. The top is a size 16 and the bottoms a ten. Other faves are from TopShop and Melissa Odabash (a sale number, I assure you). But before I head off to Nica I will be raiding the sales (HoF and Bravissimo both have them at the moment) for some last minute bikini bargains!

Ninja,
xx

"Baby got back" fat. Really?

"It gives me back fat" "You can see my back fat" "I hate my back fat" " You can even see my back fat from the front"

What the actual fug is back fat?! WHO decided that women needed another area to worry about putting weight onto? I mean, really? It's a myth. That 'stuff' on your back is flesh, and funnily enough, we all have it. Unless you are what medical experts would class as obese you will not have back fat.

If you're getting the little rolly bits at the top of the back band, loosen the shoulder straps and drop the band lower, so that it's straight around your middle. Likewise, if you're getting fleshy bits under your arms at the front, slacken the straps and double check that the wire is not too small.

If the back band is the right size your bra should sit right around you ribcage, i.e your least 'back fatty' bit. If your are getting this mythical fat it means the band is too high.

Apparently a well-known store that offers bra fitting (I'll give you a clue "This is not just bra fitting, this is *** bra fitting") have been telling their customers that when you buy a bra you should always start on the tightest hook. Why, I hear you wonder? So that "when you feel uncomfortable or have eaten a lot you can loosen the band". I'm sorry, what? I'll admit, there have definitely been times (normally on or around Christmas) when I've had to unbutton my jeans but my bra? I don't put weight directly on them, much as it saddens me. Nor do I find my ribcage expanding at random. What rot.

If you are wondering what to look for in a proper fit remember to check out Rocket Science for a wee refresher ;)

Ninja, x

Also, this week House of Fraser are having a sale in their underwear department and across their store in general to celebrate the Jubilee weekend! Rule Brittania! Spotted, the Freya Jolie with 20% off! Amazeballs!

Soft Serve Your Hard Balls

So! You've been properly fitted and you've probably jumped up a few cups and down a few backs sizes, yes? YES. And with that revelation may come the discovery that your new size is hard to find in your old style, padded. Bra firms tend not to include padding or moulding* in cup sizes past a D/DD. You don't need anything extra, you got the goods already. But this is strange, right? At first, you may find yourself very self conscious of the soft cup. Because, yes, if the temperature drops quickly you need to check your own mountains for snow mounds.

I always fit customers into a soft cup bra because they can see themselves if they are filling the cup without any help from padding. I tend to get people to put their top back on so they can see the shape a soft cup affords you; no ghastly outline where the padding stops; no funny 'side boob' action going on under the arm.

Plus, SOFT CUPS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR BOOBS! It's true. I swear it. In a moulded/padded bra our boobs just rest, lazily on the padding. In a soft cup, however, the upper pectoral muscles get a work out and your boobs, over time will regain strength. Boobs sink. And that sucks. But they shouldn't start to head south until you're at least in your late thirties and even then you can minimise the droop with good soft cup bras. Child birth has a HUGE effect on your boobies so make sure to get fitted before and after breastfeeding so that the tissue doesn't lose any more of it's elasticity.

I have a few faves, the Simone Perele Celeste is my go to, as is the Freya Jolie and Arabella. Make sure the band is snug and that you are filling the cup comfortably. We're all lopsided. The left breast is always bigger than the right and common thought is that it's because our heart lies behind it (sweet, hey?). This imbalance can be fixed by adjusting the shoulder straps.

I noticed the difference within about six weeks.

So, to strengthen your fledging bosom, strap on a soft cup. They're prettier anyway ;)

Ninja, x

*There is a distinct difference between padded and moulded. Padded gives you 'oomph' by way of having in-built chicken fillets alound the side and underside of your boobs. Moulded bras have a thin layer of padding across the whole cup.

"Banging body, pity about the saggy tits" NO. NOT OKAY.

Summa Summa Summa Tiiiiiiiiiiime. IT'S SUNNY! IN EDINBURGH! How glorious! However, what is not so glorious is the number of boobs bouncing along Edinburgh's streets, running 'free and loose'. Umm, hello? Have you learned NOTHING!? If we need to take care of our boobs in everyday life (to keep them north) then surely, surely you know that extra care must be take during exercise?

"Gosh, she's terribly heavy footed" "Oh, that's not her feet, she ran for leisure for ten years without a proper sports bra. That's her boobs slapping the floor you're hearing". Nice.

I know they are pricey. But so are gym memberships! And you forked out for that! Or, if, like me, you're a runner, that's free!! So spending on a sports bra is just another piece of kit. "I want to get in shape for my beach holiday" Great. Do so. But unless you want to have to scoop your boobs into your bikini, invest in a sports bra!

I use a Shock Absorber bra which I love. My boobs go nowhere. Much to the chagrin of passing lorries but to my own personal delight. However. It's toight. Like proper toight. I have to do the hooks round my waist, shoogle (yes, it's a technical term) it up to my chest and then do the clasp at the back. I'm not going to lie, the first time I used it I had a slight breakdown with regards to the flap-clasp at the base of my neck. Flap-clasps are tricky anyway, but doing one upside down, in an awkward place, blind, nearly ended me. But now, all fine! It's terribly comfortable and my flatmate's just bought the same one in a funky purple/turquoise colourway. Mine's black, how demure of me.

Ladies, joking aside this is one of the most important bras you will ever buy (up there with maternity and post-op). There's no point working hard to have a banging body if you gain droopy boobs at the same time. And it'll hurt your back too. And if you have a sore back you're more inclined to stoop and then no one can see your rock-hard abs etc etc.

Try on different styles and see what works. It will feel tighter than your normal bras, even in the same size because the elastic is of a much higher tension. This bra has to work hard for you so make sure you find the one that is best suited for your shape and sport. Wash them carefully by hand. Most have wick-away technology so they don't need to be washed after every workout, but definitely more frequently than your normal bras.

I'm running a half marathon on Sunday and have been using the bra since January. My boobs haven't gone anywhere and are, if anything much stronger. Still boobs though. No pecks here, thanks very much Madonna.

Ninja, x

P.S After writing this post I have the Irn Bru advert 'Raoul Likes to Bounce' stuck in my head. Yes, Raoul does like to bounce. Your boobs don't. Strap 'em down.